Funny Chinese Zodiac Signs That’ll Leave You Wonton More

As a former stand up comic I see the humor in just about everything. One day while discussing my new found obsession with the Chinese Zodiac and having a glass (or two) of wine with a friend, she asked me for info on her Chinese Zodiac Animal – the Horse.

I couldn’t resist and said, “A Chinese Horse is a Horse of course.” Another glass of wine into the glorious summer afternoon and we decided I should weave some humor in with the, sometimes, too serious worlds of astrology and zodiac signs.

To my dear friend Cindy Harrington – these are for you! (p.s. if you’re ever in Alachua County, Florida Cindy is the best real estate agent in the biz – look her up!)

Be warned, to Cindy and I, one of the highest forms of humor is the pun…

Rat Named Big Cheese of the Chinese Zodiac

Of Mice and men, it very well may be the mighty Mouse who is the most enlightened. Oh, yes.

The Chinese Rat is not just any ol’ Tom, Dick or Jerry.

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Rat…

Olly, Olly Year of the Oxen Free

The old adage “Strong as an Ox” is no oxymoron. Their grit and determination puts the Pow in the Kung, Babe.

They just keep putting one hoof in front of the other. Only china shops seem to make the go on a stampede.

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Ox…

Year of the Tiger – It’s Grrreat!

A leader with a natural air of superiority, the world belongs to Tigers.

Though, they would rather be lying about on a grassy knoll partaking of the catnip.

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Tiger…

Year of the Wascally Wabbit

Ah, the lucky Chinese rabbit. They always seem to know when something’s afoot.

Even if someone tries to fool them they simply say, “Silly wabbit, tricks are for kids.”

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Rabbit…

Enter…The Year of the Dragon!

For all the Dragon ladies out there, you may take great pride (and they do) in knowing that you’re among the most successful women in all the zodiac.

Yu-Gi-Oh girl!

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Dragon…

Year of the Sssssnake!

Snake, rattle and roll, Baby! If you were born in The Year of the Snake, you’re a charmer.

You don’t merely walk into a room, you make an entrance. The ground undulates and sets off tremors!

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Snake…

It’s The Year of the Horse, Of Course

Hi, ho Silver! Away!

Now, a Horse is a Horse, of course, of course, and they’re always rearing to go! They’re headin’ ’em up and movin’ ’em out, baby!

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Horse…

Gettin’ wild and woolly in The Year of the Sheep

A wolf in sheep’s clothing? Never!

If ewe were born in The Year of the Sheep your creativity is shear genius.

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Sheep…

Hey, Hey It’s The Year of the Monkee

Hey hey, we’re the Monkees! And people say we monkey around.

But we’re too busy singin’, to put anybody down.

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Monkey…

The Year of the Rooster is no joke, son, ah say son

Rock-A-Doodle doo, Baby!

Blunt, to the point, motivated and extremely focused you know exactly why you crossed the road.

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Rooster…

C’mon over to The Year of the Dog

Yo’ Dawg!

If this is your Chinese zodiac sign, the honesty, faithfulness and sincerity you gift to humanity is enough to ensure that all Dogs go to heaven.

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Dog…

The Year of the Pig is just for you, babe

If ever there was a Chinese zodiac sign that commanded respect it is the Pig.

Known for their sincerity and kindness the Chinese Pig wraps everyone’s heart in a warm blanket of love.

Read more about the personality, traits and characteristics of those born in the Year of the Pig…